In the begining

Yes DYFS and the entire family court system here in New Jersey needs to be changed.People within the system need to be held accountable for the families they rip apart and forever change.


Hello! I'm Margie. I think the place to start is to tell you about myself and my family.I was born and raised here in New Jersey to parents ill equipped for the job. My father was a diagnosed Bipolar and my mother had Borderline personality disorder. They married when they were just eighteen and nineteen years old.Long before their diagnosis.In their marriage they had me and then my brother Bob.They had separated when I was three,and although back then we saw them both,my father left when I was five,and was not heard from by us, until I was twelve.
Both my father and mother have passed away now,and I truly don't want to be disrespectful to either of their memory,however I must tell you that we grew up with physical,emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of my mother.My mother also was addicted to various pharmaceutical drugs throughout my entire life as long as I can remember, going through doctors constantly.As an adolescent I was introduced to marijuana by my mother.The sad part about children and abuse is, they really don't realize that the entire world is not like that,and so they adapt to their world in order to survive in it.As we were entering adolescence,my mother had another son Christopher,whose father abandoned her,and his unborn son, as soon as he realized my mother was pregnant.
My place in my very dysfunctional family was the fixer,cleaner,excuse maker,nurturer.....Basically I was raised an enabler. Of course I didn't realize that at the time, but that is exactly what it was. My job in the family was to go to school.Clean the house.Cook the food.Look after my younger brothers,and smooth over my mothers tirades that seemed to come on an almost daily basis.It was like walking barefoot on eggshells not knowing which step was going to be the one that cut me. As an adolescent, I began to rebel. I realized now that not every bodies parents did to them what my mother did, and I was resentful. I wanted to be able to enjoy social activities and friends,however my mother rarely allowed me out of the house stating I had to many things to do before I could enjoy myself. The things I had to do were never done.There was always more to do.I started skipping school in order to spend time with my friends and I began to run away at about fourteen. I didn't go very far. Always to a friends house within a couple miles from home. It usually took about a week or so for my mother to find me because she never knew who my friends were since the only time they came over my house was when I let them in because she wasn't home. I wasn't allowed to have friends over when she was not home however,when she was home she would find one reason or another not to allow it.I even called DYFS trying to illicit their help,but mom knew what they needed to hear,having a degree in psychology and social work she had obtained going to Monmouth college through the department of rehab.So they sided with mom. My mother being the person she was could not handle any stress,which in retrospect was rather odd as she was the one causing all of it.She had various jobs with the Monmouth county probation dept, and oddly enough,she was a social worker for DYFS for a few months.She could never hold it together for very long and would eventually, rather quickly in fact, lose all of her jobs. When my brother Bob got in trouble breaking into a house when he was fourteen,my mother would not allow him to come back home and was put voluntarily by her into foster care. Shortly thereafter, my mother decided that she was done with me too.I was sixteen at the time and had attended Ocean County college for a semester as when I turned sixteen my high school kicked me out for truancy.My answer to that was to immediately aquire my GED and go to college. I was not yet emotionally prepared for that as you can imagine,but I did not know it at the time.I met a man there named Bob. he was twenty one years old ,and to me he was the world.I ran away and he hid me out in a house that his father was watching for a friend in Seaside over the winter. After about three weeks,the owner of the house came unannounced and was in the downstairs apartment when he heard me upstairs,he of course called the police and I was arrested. The charges were dropped as I did have permission, in a roundabout way, to be there, however my mother decided she wanted nothing more to do with me and left me at the juvenile shelter for six months.Sad part about that was as restrictive as that environment was, I preferred the shelter over being home. Bob and I decided we wanted to get married and my mother gave us permission signing all the needed paperwork.She then allowed me to come back home until the wedding.Bob's mother was not at all happy with this arraignment. Bob was her oldest son and I suppose she knew her son was not ready to be married.She didn't even want to meet me.She had major health issues and three days before the wedding, she became very ill and was hospitalized. We got married on the planned date of June 4th(Bob wanted to get married before I turned 17 on the 12th of June),and she passed away three days after the wedding never having met me.I also found out about that time that I was about four weeks pregnant.I know at some level Bob felt guilty that somehow the added stress on his mother led to her passing as he voiced this in our subsequent arguments. We lived at my moms for a couple of weeks and then moved into a small apartment. I really felt bad about leaving my four year old brother Chris with my mom alone,but what could I do?
Bob began to drink, and when he did, got mean.He would hit me and belittle me. When I was five months pregnant he started having an affair. He would come home and tell me how much better than me his mistress was.She was prettier,skinner a better cook and a better housekeeper. She was twenty seven years old and her name was Gail. During one of our arguments he blackened my eye and pushed me down a flight of steps. I didn't tell anybody except his father as he was a real nice man and seemed to like me.I had my son Bobby in February. Four months later,Bob and I were in the car.We were arguing and I was holding Bobby in my arms.My husband punched me in the face missing the baby by inches.I got out of the car and never went back to him.He wasn't just hurting me now,he could have hurt Bobby too.I had no job and no skills.I collected public assistance.I didn't know about food stamps and medicaid,and back then it was not all inclusive so since my social worker never mentioned they even existed,I did not know they were available to me.I worked whatever jobs I could get but found out quickly that hiring a babysitter took all of the money I could make. Bob would not help.When I would ask him for help he would bring a bag of food for Bobby.He stated he was paying his twenty-five dollars a week in child support to the state and that was all he legally had to do.I lived in a condemed house in Long Branch in the middle of winter with holes in the wall so big you could see the sun shining in. I would steal food from the local grocery store so my son could eat.I became depressed and began seeing a counselor at a local mental health clinic. I was diagnosed with depression..Hummm.ya think?But that was the beginning of my healing and self help.One time Bobby climbed out of his playpen that was being used as his bed and burned his leg real bad on the little space heater we had in the room with us to keep warm. I woke up to his scream.I didn't know what to do so I wrapped him up and ran to the local Pharmacy down the street.The pharmacist made a salve and gave me that,bandages and directions. What an Angel. Bobby's leg healed without infection, but it did leave a scar. Since our separation my husband was living with his mistress and now girlfriend Gail. She owned a house and Had three children from a previous marriage. I never met her then, but knew all this because Bob would make it a point to tell me all about her. I met another man when Bobby was almost two. This man, John, would dicipline Bobby for ridiculous things like not saying thank you when Bobby hardly had a vocabulary. One day John spanked Bobby and left bruises on his little bottom.I broke down.I felt I was a horrible mother. I couldnt support and feed and cloth him properly and I failed him. I voluntarily gave custody of Bobby to Bob. Bob told me that if he and Gail were going to take care of Bobby, that I could not be in their lives right now as Gail needed time to bond with Bobby. I gave Bobby to Bob and left New jersey and went to Maryland with John and we lived with his father, John Sr and step mom Sharon.John also would drink and get mean and hit me.One time when we were living there, he had gotten really drunk and hit me out of nowhere.We were not even arguing.A man that was a boarder at the house saw what was happening and punched John once in the jaw,breaking it.John had his jaw wired and was eating through a straw for eight weeks. We moved out of his dads house and into a studio apartment. One night he got drunk and hit me and I left him not to return. At that time I had a good job as a cocktail waitress on Capital hill in DC.I moved back in and paid rent to Johns father.I dont know where John went at that time.I began to date Sharons brother. His name was Ray. He was a nice and gentle man.He never hit me,or even yelled at me.He had a heart condition and later needed open heart valve replacement surgery.I knew Ray had used drugs in the past, He told me about using "green" which was "angel dust"but he was not using hard drugs now. We would occasionally smoke marijuana.I became pregnant and when I started showing,my cocktail waitress job was gone. It's a good thing employers can't do that anymore.Ray and I lived in the country with his sister and Johns father. It was an awful, run down, cramped place but we made due. Rays heart began getting worse quickly,and when I was six months pregnant,Ray had open heart surgery to replace his aortic valve. Seeing him after surgery was traumatic. His skin was gray and he was so cold. He was hooked up to monitors and IVs and I thought he may die. I could hear the tick tick of his new heart valve. I was so scared.John Sr drove me home from the hospital that evening.Before we got home he stopped at the bar and had a few drinks. I had one mixed drink.Then he drove us home. When we got home John Sr opened a beer. John Sr was an alcoholic. His wife Sharon had gone shopping and was not at home when we arrived. After a few minutes John Sr, much to my surprise, told me how beautiful I was and how much he wanted me. I was shocked, told him no and to get away from me and made sure I was never alone with him again.I never told anyone what John Sr had said to me.Ray quickly recovered and was released from the hospital with a reminder from his doctor not to lapse back into his old ways and do drugs. Ray now had to be on the blood thinner coumadin for the rest of his life. We stayed with John Sr and Sharon until Ray got stronger and went back to work. In the meantime, Michael Ray was born on March 17th, St Patrick's day. Shortly after Michael was born and I'm sure at my insistence,we moved out and got our own apartment in Suitland Maryland.We lived basically in the projects. I was scared of the people around and stayed to myself. It was a very lonely time for me. I had no friends, no family, no support. I was very lonely but looked forward to when Ray got home.Ray had let a friend of his stay over. This guy had broken his leg and was down on his luck so Ray was trying to help him . All this guy did was lay on the couch and drink vodka straight out of the bottle. By the time Ray got home He was drunk every day. After a few months of that and me waiting on this guy and him not contributing at all to the house,Ray asked him to leave.Ray however had begun to use "green" again. Now Ray would come home and even though he was sitting right there, he would not hear or respond to me. Michael would crawl on him and he wouldn't move.Ray had let another man,Mike stay with us. I even tried smoking this"green" a couple of times but didnt like how it made me feel, and I kept remembering Ray in the hospital and what the doctor said.I would remind Ray of this and he would nicely dismiss my concerns stating he could handle it and he felt fine and his heart was fine.Mike was contributing to the house,and unlike Ray, because Ray was to high, was talking to me , and interacting with me. After awile, Mike and I started having an affair.Do you even call it that when you are not married? Well whatever, we did. I left Ray, leaving Michael Ray with him knowing he was moving back in with his sister in the country. I knew Ray would stop getting high if he was the only one taking care of Michael.I told Ray I would be back in a few weeks to get Michael Ray when I was settled. Mike and I went to California to his sisters in Los Angeles.We got a place , and I went back for Michael Ray, but Michael Ray was not there and Ray would not tell me where he was.I was heartbroken. My baby boy was gone.The last time I saw him he was one year old.The police said it was a domestic family court issue and they would not get involved.As it turns out Michael was admitted to the local hospital with pneumonia. But then, Ray just said he wasn't going to tell me where he was so he lead me to believe he was hiding him from me.I went back to California heartbroken without my son. Ray was very sober when I saw him. Mike and I lived in LA for two years, moving out when my daughter Beth was born as I was not going to raise children in hollywood. If you've ever been or lived there you would understand. We moved to San Diego and settled in El Cajon. Now Alcoholism is a progressive disease. When I first met Mike, He would drink a few beers on the weekends.It slowly progressed to drinking beer every day. Then up to a bottle of hard liquor a day. In the meantime I had Margaret Maureen(Moe), My second daughter. Mike couldn't hold down a job so I worked. One time I came home and he was passed out on the floor. The girls were sitting next to him crying. They thought he was dead.They were three and four at that time and soon I was pregnant with Ashley. By that time, after watching Mike turn into a stone alcoholic before my eyes, I was done. But I needed a plan cause he would also get mean and since I was his meal ticket he wasn't just going to go peacefully.There was also physical abuse in this relationship that I tried to hide from the kids.I was having alot of trouble keeping housing because as rent would come due, I would realize mike spent all the money drinking and now also gambeling.Mikes sister was also an alcoholic and used MANY drugs ALL the time.I was no angel I used methamphetamine sometimes, and as an adolescent and young adult experimented. One day Mike and I drove to his sisters to find her and her four children sitting on the curb outside with all the contents of the house on the lawn. They had been evicted.She asked if Mike and I would take the kids for a few days and of course we did. She never reached out to make contact with us.Now here I was pregnant, alcoholic husband, Two young children of my own and Beverly's four children ranging in age from six to twelve.You know I was way sober then.They had nothing but the clothes on their backs and I didn't have the means to get them anything.I contacted Children s Protective Services. They came and met with us and the children. They asked if we could keep them with us as if they were to be placed in foster care, they would be separated. We agreed, but had to move into a bigger place to make room for so many per CPS requirements.The children had many emotional issues, and some odd behaviors lead me to believe they may have been sexually abused. I contacted the social worker with my concerns and we had a childrens psychologist came into the home twice a week for counseling.It was actually working and we were all working together as a team and a family. Mike and I even got married.We had Christmas together,and although the children were very happy over their presents, they all really missed their mom that day. Sometime about six months after we had first agreed to care for the kids, Mike had gone out in the car and came home with his sister Beverly! Now I was never real clear on weather he went looking for her or what exactly happened,as from that second everything unraveled.She had spoken with the children and convinced them that Mike and I were the reason she could not get them.She told them that if they went to the juvenile shelter she would pick them up.She convinced them, and not me, Mike, the psychologist or the social worker could convince them otherwise.They so wanted to believe in their mom.The whole thing was just heartbreaking cause we knew the state would separate them. But we couldn't keep them if they didnt want to stay,so they left and of course were seperated into four foster homes.The socail workers would not tell us where they were and would not let us visit! We could take care of them for months but when they REALLY needed us, we couldn't see them! That was my second clue in life DYFS/CPS is not a good entity working in the best interest of children.At that point we were their only family that cared and CPS knew it,yet separated us, stating that the children would better adapt to being separated without our influence.Now tell me where does that make any sense?But legally, not being their parents, and me weeks away from giving birth,there was nothing we could do but mourn the loss, oh yeah and quickly move out cause with the kids went the meager check from the state we used to get a bigger place for them. Now we were living on a campground in Santee.That is where I brought Ashley home to.Mike quickly used the heartache as an excuse to resume drinking, and I, my friends, was finished!It had suddenly dawned on me that no matter what I did or where I went I wound up in the same place. A completely dysfunctional relationship where I was the one taking care of everything and everyone.I knew I had to do something to change fast! My girls were not going to go through any of this and I knew if they grew up in it, thats exactly what they would learn to do.Now I had to learn to Undo and fast!
My daughter Beth missed her last month of kindergarten because of all that. Now,
once she started school, I realized Beth was gifted in many ways scholastically as she could read when she entered kindergarten. None of the other children could do that and her teacher had nothing but praise for her accomplishments. when she missed the end of kindergarten and Mikes answer to that was to start up drinking again, I knew I was done.First we moved to Maryland and stayed with his step mom.About two months later, we were all visiting my mom in New Jersey.Mike had tied one on and picked an argument with me at my moms house. He hit me in the face and my now 17yr old six foot tall baby brother subdued him until the police arrived. And yes, I was pressing charges! Long story short a deal was made with the courts that if he completed rehab, charges would be dropped. I told Mike that he needed to finish this twenty eight day program or the children and I would not be returning.I began intensive counseling for myself and counseling for the girls,well not Ashley cause she was still an infant.I knew something was also wrong with me in order to always wind up here. I also needed to get an education somehow so that I would NEVER feel trapped with no way out as I did with Mike.Well Mike decided after two weeks he didn't need the program.His counselor explained that when it came time to do personal inventory, Mike felt his drinking hurt nobody but himself. Yeah right.Well if I had any doubt then, I was sure after that conversation with Mike and his counselor that we were not going back.Not to blame it all on him either, like I said I also knew I was contributing to this mess weather intentional or not. I came to learn about co-dependence. How a co-dependent family works. What my place and contribution was to that relationship. I mean people..A relationship no matter what type is give and take. I needed to search my soul and turn over rocks that had so much pain,guilt,anger,resentment ect. under them in order to fully know who I was, how I got here, and how to change so that I and my daughters could lead a normal and happy life. And it wasn't an easy road.Remember who I moved back in with ...the beginning of it all.
During my counseling , I ran into an old friend I had dated briefly between my ex husband Bob and John.His name is Ed.That was June 12th 1991 when we met again and began dating. Of course my mother eventually went ballistic as someone else other than her had my attention.Ed remembered my"crazy"mom and offered for the girls and I to move in with him and share expenses. I have been with Ed since that time. We married in 1995. Ed has helped me raise the girls as his own. When we first moved in together, my social worker, knowing how badly I wanted to go to school got in touch with me and said there was a new pilot program called REACH and if I participated, they would send me to nursing school! God was hearing my prayers! Well needless to say I participated alright! Got nothing less than a B on my grades. Worked at Shoprite during the closing shift cause it was slow enough for me to study and scan groceries for customers! I graduated and was able to sit for my boards and passed! I was now a licensed nurse, and could take care of myself and my family if I had to. The girls were doing great Beth Always was placed into the gifted and talented programs in school.Margaret Maureen (Moe) Was diagnosed with a learning disability and eventually with ADD. Not to worry, we got her all the support she needed in school.Sports was what she excelled in. She was a cheerleader for awhile(she was too cute!!) She was I guess what you would call a tomboy.She loved to ride bikes Do jumps and keep up with the boys!!She loved soccer and was great at it. She and her team won the championship every year and every year she earned the big trophy! She played soccer until she was to old to join the local teams at sixteen.Ashley was diagnosed with ADHD.It was apparent very early on. She was a bundle of energy and so distractable. Her pediatrician started her on ritalin as soon as she was having trouble at school. That and the extra support seemed to do the trick for her and at night,weekends and summer times she didn't take it,so her dosage would not have to be increased because of tolerance and ...so what if shes got alot of energy when shes home? Its all good! She did very well also.We wound up settling in Beachwood in 1995, and bought a house in 1998 just down the street from where we rented. It was so close the girls bus stop didn't change! I also became involved in girl scouts,becoming a co-leader for a few years so we could have more mommy daughter fun time.I was always "cookie mom" and loved that time of year! Its important to set aside these extra times when your a working mom. I was always involved in their schools.Helping with fundraisers,class mom,stuff like that.The parents and teachers need to work together as a team. The teachers always knew they could count on me and there was always good communication between us.When the kids were young, Ed would work the seven to three shift and I would work the three to eleven shift so the girls would only have a sitter for about a half hour to forty five minutes a day. We thought this best as that way there was just about always one of the two of us home.Again family time is important.Although Ed and I quickly learned to keep a communication book as kids being kids,quickly learned and tried out the "well if dad says no we will try mom"or vice versa. So we made them understand that we work together as a team also.Things as little as sitting down together and enjoying dinner was something we all looked forward to when we were all home together.
My father, remember him? he was diagnosed with cancer in August 2001, And passed away three weeks later on september 1st 2001.We did have a relationship. Not the normal one, cause well dad wasn't normal, but we did have one and we were able to tell each other goodbye. I can't express how thankful I am for that.My brother Bob lives in San Francisco. He is an alcoholic also.Not a mean one mind you, but that was the coping mechanism he learned, and, I suppose hasn't felt the need to change. I understand why he is, and love him for who he is.My baby brother Chris didn't turn out to be so nice, which is also a pain to my heart.He was also taught the same things Bob and I were from mom.However chris is extremly intelligent and rather than come to the fact that what we learned was awful,he has honed it into an art of lies and manipulation.He began getting in trouble with the law as early as seventeen when he figured out how to punch numbers into ATM machines and get them to give him money.He progressed from there to fraud by deception,making bogus checks in his and other peoples names,identity theft ect. He really has no conscience,as I painfully learned when in 2005, when I put our house up to bail him out of some mortage scheme he and my mother thought up together evidently. I felt sorry for him and he is very convincing. I know mom knew about it because she told me Chris was going to help her stay in her house that she was more than a year behind in mortgage payments on, but she was going to have to sign the house over to him.Then she called elder abuse and told them Chris stole the house from her. She must have known Chris did something illegal to get a mortage on her house and in her warped sense of reality thought that now that it was paid for,she could complain, the authorities would investigate,and someone was gonna say"you poor woman,here let us give you your house back." I know it sounds crazy, but I'm sure that's what she was thinking! Anyway,they did investigate,Chris was brought up on charges,I bailed him out ,He took off right before his court date and was found two years later in England My mom got evicted from her house and I helped her move into an apartment in Toms River. Needless to say when I realized Chris took off basically leaving me owing $120,000.00 for his bail,and realizing that they schemed it up together and mom turned on Chris in her usual style, our relationship was a bit strained, my mom and myself, until the day she passed away in 2007.Chris is serving his time in a state prison and blames me!! I think that's because mom is not here to blame and thats how they both work. Never take responsibility cause it's someone else s fault,therefore also never learning from mistakes you don't make! I don't speak to him anymore and have a lein on the house my husband and I worked so hard for. My own stupidity.
Now that you know me and the family,I'll tell you How DYFS ripped apart our family and how none of us will ever look at anything the same way. You know,.. that" if you do what your supposed to do and live life right things will work out" way? No...DYFS taught us that only happens in fairy tales.
In 2005, right around the time I bailed out Chris, my daughter Ashley started talking, emailing back and forth to a guy on myspace. I really didn't think anything of it at first.Then he started calling the house for her. I looked up all his info then and realized he was twenty five years old.Ashley was fourteen at the time. I got on the phone and informed him of her age and sternly told him not to call her.Never until then was anything happening with Ashley.Nothing out of the ordinary, just normal kid stuff.Well it didn't stop and he didn't stop contacting her.Ashley and I talked about it in great lengths. I realized she had become infatuated in who this man presented himself to be to her,as an adult I realized a twenty five year old man has nothing in common with a fourteen year old.I was concerned to say the least. The phone calls seemed to stop for awhile, Then out of nowhere she ran away from home. There was no argument no discord,nothing to precept this action. I began calling all her friends looking for her, I found out because the school had called me and she never made it there.Any time she was absent they knewI would call them,so they called me. Inquiring with her friends, they told me that indeed she had planned this and her plan was to meet this guy Jesse she had met on myspace. I was now frantic! I immediately called the police and my oldest daughter Beth somehow figured out her password and got onto her myspace page. Thanks to Beth and the police we had this guys address within two hours.The police in his town were dispatched to his house where they say they found her in a garage full of kids playing musical instruments.Great this guys a twenty five year old wanna be a rock star loser I thought to myself.I wanted to press charges but the police in Brownsmills,where he lives, would not let me, stating she went there on her own accord and she was just sitting in a garage full of people and nothing illegal had occurred. Even after I explained my phone encounter with Jessie warning him away, they would not let me. Now Ashley, who by the way, I have always had a great relationship with, was angry with me and hurt.She became very depressed, was angry and lashing out at us.She was totally not Ashley at all. I knew I needed professional help and consulted with our pediatrician who referred us to a child psychologist. She went biweekly to her, and to a counselor. She was put on meds and it culminated to her walking into our bedroom and calmly attempting to slash her wrists in front of us with a blade she had removed from a pencil sharpener. She was admitted to Monmouth medical centers psychiatric ward. At this point,well actually way before that I suspected sexual or physical abuse or both as I am a nurse and know the signs that something was horribly wrong, and I knew the problem was not at home, and had already discussed my concerns with her dramatic behavior changes and what it may mean with her doctors.She was released about two weeks later on different meds. Then one night Beth comes running into our room waking us up in the middle of the night saying she saw Jesse in Ashley's bedroom and he just jumped out the window and is running down the street.I called the police and they came quickly with Jesse in tow. They went into Ashley's room and in her closet was a huge military duffel type bag full of his belongings and a 5th of bourbon!The police by this time realized something is very wrong with this man, however evidently, his mother had kicked him out of her house.(I know what a surprise!)Ashley told him that she could hide him in her closet for a couple days,So technically he was invited in and they could not arrest him, not even for the alcohol to a minor as it was not yet opened and therfore could not prove his intentions for it.However they now warned Jessy to stay away or else! They sat with me and I told them the whole thing.Armed with all the info they began an investigation into Jesses contact with Ashley...Thank God Right? They told me to call them any time Ashley was late for curfew, skipped school, or did not come home as they would need all that information for their investigation.And we did call the police and make a report each time there was something amiss with Ashley and involvement with Jesse was suspected.Things emotionally weren't getting any better with Ashley either. She was now becoming truant often in her first year of high school.Again,not her usual behavior.She wouldn't talk to us about what she was feeling except to say we didn't understand that she loved Jesse.We even tried family chris intervention, who the police referred us to. Bonnie Parker listened to the story and informed Ashley that she must attend school or suffer the consequences of being brought before a judge. Shortly thereafter,in April I had to go into the hospital for a complete hysterectomy. The day I was operated on,Ashley did not come home that evening. My husband calls me in the morning to tell me. I told him to call the police immediately. As he hung up with me, there is a knock on the door. It was Ashley being escorted by a police officer and a social worker.Ashley (I found out over a year later when she finally would talk with me about it, )had stayed out to see Jesse who came to Beachwood just to see her. She stayed out too late and knew she was going to be in trouble, sat with her friends and concocted a story. They told one of their moms that Ashley was afraid to go home because I was in the hospital and Ed was going to beat her! Now my husband Ed has NEVER HIT ME OR THEM! EVER! Oh I'm sure he was going to yell a bit but beat her? Never!They went on to tell their mom that the reason Ed was going to beat her is because he smokes marijuana and is always high! Yup!! This is the story these kids came up with. I guess they figured mom would say "sure little girl,you can stay here." Instead, not knowing Ed and I she did the adult thing and called the police. Now They are at the door. Ed was also very concerned over me because I had lost alot of blood and was at that moment in time receiving my third blood transfusion. When they came in and started talking with Ed the social worker hit him with the accusation on beating my daughter and using drugs and my husband then lost it and yelled at the worker.I get a phone call in the hospital from this worker Mz Joleen Lopez,saying "Mrs Watson, Do you know you daughter slept on a park bench last night because she was afraid to come home and be alone with your husband?" Now I'm yelling at the social worker.I explained all this Jessy stuff and that she ran away and was found at his house, tried to commit suicide and was admitted for it,and that I didn't know how or why but I knew Jesse had something to do with it because since meeting this guy she has not been my daughter.She has been doing things and acting out of character. After speaking with me she informs me that she has contacted my brother, Ashley's uncle Chris, (the convicted criminal) And that she will be transporting her to his house and how lucky I was that I had a relative that checked out and was ok to leave Ashley with! And when I get home from the hospital DYFS will discuss future plans with me regarding Ashley's returning home! I was livid! I returned home and called Ashley first and found out as much of her story that she would tell me at that time. She said she had stayed out and time went by so fast she didnt realize how late it was. She didnt want to get yelled at so she and her friends told her mom this story hoping she could stay there.She never thought the police and DYFS would be called. She at the time said Jesse was not involved, but since then has confessed all to me and he WAS with her! However Ashley did tell me that on the way to uncle Chris's house she told the social worker that Ed doesn't use drugs or hit her,That she just didn't feel like dealing with getting yelled at when she got home and the social worker brought her to uncle Chris's anyway! Now I was really angry!! I called Ms.Lopez and told her I was aware of Ashley's confession to her and how dare she remove my child from my house and then continue on knowing the real truth! i told her she has two hours to have my daughter back in my home or I will be pressing charges against her! My brother brought her about an hour later at Ms. Lopez's request.A few times I got messages asking to return her call and I was having nothing more to do with Ms. Lopez.Ashley continued to sneak around and see Jesse,At this point This guy was actually living down the street with a family who let him stay with them even after the police warned them of whats been going on. They are not he brightest tools in the shed.The police investigation continues but seems to be taking forever to a mother who is so worried about her daughter.I was so afraid for her.I knew he had to be doing something to her for her to be behaving like this, and love does not do this.She had picked a fight one day with my very pregnant daughter Moe(her story coming up) and was trying to punch
Moe! Ashley was never violent before this Jesse thing.Another sign.Moe in an attempt to protect her unborn, hits Ashley in the eye distracting Ashley long enough to lock herself in the bathroom away from Ashley! Ashley got a blackened eye from that hit. The following day after the Moe Ashley fight, in the beginning of June.(this has been going on about six months now)
Ms.Joleen Lopez shows up unannounced at my door. I was not happy at first to see her, and she brought with her a DHS officer James Micheal Jackson stating my husband had made her fear for her safety!You would have to know what a docile teddy bear Ed is to understand how ridiculous that seemed to me. She is not yet endearing to me, however I realized I had no control over helping my daughter in this situation with Jesse, and I had tried every avenue I knew of to get help to no avail up to this point, and after all isn't DYFS supposed to ensure the safety of and what is best for the child? I looked upon her as perhaps being able to step in and help in a situation I had no control over and could not protect her from.I consented and let her in. We sat down at the kitchen table for quite a while as i told her all Ashley had been through with this guy, with the DHS officer standing there listening also.After listening to the entire story I am also telling you now, Ms Lopez informs me that she agrees and indeed Ashley is in a very dangerous situation with this man, however, per DYFS guidelines, Dyfs cannot offer any services to help Ashley , as their guidelines clearly state that services can only be offered if there is a problem in the home and with the caregivers,And after speaking with Ashley and myself she realizes that my husband and I are taking all appropriate actions and this is now a police matter.She finds nothing wrong with the home or me and Ed. At that point I asked her"Are you saying to me that the only way DYFS can help protect my daughter from this stalker pedophile, is if there is some thing wrong with my husband or myself and we are unfit parents?" And she said "Yes, basically that is it. And there is nothing wrong with you or your home."I could not believe what she just said to me! At that point I looked her stright in the eye and said"Fine! If that is the only way you will help to protect my daughter from this man,Then I smoke marijuana!! Is that enough for you to keep a case open on her?" Her mouth literally hung open and she said"Well I don't know what to do! I've never had anyone say that to me before!" I Said"How about calling your supervisor and telling her the whole story I just told you, and what I was forced to confess to you in order to protect my daughter from a pedophile?" She excused herself and went outside into her car and had a lengthy conversation with her supervisor In The meantime,Officer Jackson had an off the record conversation with me. He asked me"why did you say that to her? Its obviously not true. Aren't you afraid of losing my nursing license over such a confession?" I said to him "No I am not! Because you are right and it isn't true, but you heard everything, she is not going to do anything to help Ashley. unless there is something wrong with us! I am scared for Ashley,and what this man is doing and might still do to her! I don't know who she is anymore and she has been, as you heard exhibiting all the signs of abuse!And she is standing here with a black eye and a pedophile stalking her" He said again"But you could ultimately lose your license" I said.."DYFS can test me all they want. I will never have a positive drug test so my license is safe.(and BTW, NEVER Ever did they obtain a positive test from either myself or my husband for any drugs or alcohol) In the meantime I will jump through whatever hoops they have for me to ensure Ashley's safety. This is my daughter, I love her and don't know what else to do. The police investigation slowly continues as they gather enough evidence against this guy to prosecute him.I dont know what his plans are but judging from her behavior,I truly believe the abuse is bad enough her life may be in danger" He said" I compleatly understand what you are saying and I also compleatly agree that you daughter is in a very dangerous situation with this man and that there is a very good possibility there may not be a good outcome in this situation with this guy, but I don't think you realize what DYFS is capable of." I said " What can they do to me? make me take drug tests and get counseling! Believe me after all this I'm sure I can use someone to talk with also." He Said "I hope your right. And Good Luck with this whole thing."And I asked him to promise not to tell Ms.Lopez about our conversation because she would close the case. He agreed not to say anything unless I asked him to. Ms Lopez returned and announced that her supervisor authorized keeping the case open on Ashley, and said another social would be contacting me shortly regarding my case. She asked me to sign some papers and she and officer Jackson left.